Tuesday, June 21, 2011
GANU UMNO VS KLATE PAS...
thanks abang salleh... bapa poligami berhemah.
Oleh Norliza Wasilan
2011/06/22
Kerajaan PAS pertimbang jika lelaki mampu urus baik keluarga
KOTA BHARU: Kerajaan PAS Kelantan menimbang cadangan untuk memberi insentif kepada pengamal poligami di negeri ini yang mampu menguruskan isteri dan keluarga dengan baik mengikut syariat Islam.
Pengerusi Jawatankuasa Pembangunan Wanita, Keluarga dan Kesihatan negeri, Wan Ubaidah Omar, berkata antara syarat dipertimbangkan ialah ketua keluarga itu hendaklah mengisytiharkan isteri masing-masing dan membawa mereka ke dalam masyarakat.
“Mengenai cadangan supaya insentif diberi kepada keluarga yang mengamalkan poligami dan menunjukkan contoh baik, kerajaan negeri menyambut baik cadangan itu, cuma biasanya pengamal poligami ini sukar untuk dikenal pasti kerana ramai tidak mengisytiharkan isteri kedua dan seterusnya,” katanya ketika sesi penggulungan Persidangan Dewan Undangan Negeri (DUN) Kelantan di Kota Darul Naim, semalam.
Pada sesi DUN Kelantan kelmarin, Ahmad Baihaki Atiqullah (PAS-Pasir Tumboh) mencadangkan supaya satu insentif diberikan kepada pengamal poligami contoh yang mampu mengurus isteri dan keluarga dengan baik.
Wan Ubaidah ketika diminta mengulas lanjut mengenai insentif berkenaan di luar dewan berkata, setakat ini pihaknya masih belum mempunyai kriteria khusus bagi membolehkan pengamal poligami mendapat insentif seumpama itu.
Ditanya sama ada insentif dimaksudkan berbentuk wang tunai atau sebaliknya, beliau berkata perkara itu masih baru dan akan dibincangkan kemudian.
Mengulas sama ada ADUN yang mengamalkan poligami juga layak menerima insentif berkenaan, beliau berkata ia boleh dipertimbangkan sekiranya pihak berkaitan tidak mempunyai halangan.
“Insentif ini tak semestinya lelaki yang berkahwin dengan armalah (ibu tunggal) tetapi boleh juga anak dara, yang penting ketua keluarga ini berjaya mengurus isteri dan keluarga, kriteria pula kita kena bincang, kena ada syarat, tidak berbalah.
“Mereka kenalah isytihar isteri masing-masing seperti Salleh Yaakob (artis yang berkahwin empat), tak bolehlah sembunyi (jika berkahwin lebih daripada satu), kalau (berkahwin) tiga, maka kena jelaskan ada tiga (isteri) itu.
“Isytihar ini bermaksud poligami ini dimaklumkan kepada keluarga, masyarakat tahu dia berpoligami dan membawa isterinya ke dalam masyarakat... yang (menjadi masalah) beratnya ialah ada kahwin satu, kemudian cerai satu, seorang wanita bahagia manakala seorang lain menderita, jika poligami ini kita tak boleh terimalah,” katanya.
seperti yang dijangkakan RATU syaitan betina menjerit tak tentu pasal...
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KUALA LUMPUR: “Sepatutnya insentif diberikan kepada suami atau ketua keluarga yang menjaga isteri dan anak dengan baik. Beri insentif sebegini (kepada suami berpoligami) hanya akan melemahkan institusi keluarga.”
Demikian kata Menteri Pembangunan Wanita, Keluarga dan Masyarakat, Datuk Seri Shahrizat Abdul Jalil mengenai kesediaan Kerajaan Kelantan untuk memberikan insentif khas sama ada wang atau sumbangan lain kepada lelaki yang mengamalkan poligami di negeri itu.
Shahrizat berkata, tindakan kerajaan Pas Kelantan itu lebih kepada usaha untuk memancing undi menjelang pilihan raya umum akan datang.
“Ini menunjukkan mereka terdesak mencari isu untuk meraih undi menjelang pilihan raya umum akan datang,” katanya yang dihubungi, semalam.
Menurutnya, tindakan Kerajaan Kelantan itu tidak akan membantu memperkukuh nilai kekeluargaan di negara ini sebaliknya ia hanya gimik politik.
“Kementerian berpendapat institusi keluarga tidak boleh diperlekeh dan dipandang rendah. Malaysia dan negara Islam lain komited untuk meletakkan hubungan kekeluargaan di tahap yang baik dan disanjung tinggi.
“Sewajarnya penghargaan diberikan kepada suami yang menunjukkan kesungguhan menjaga isteri dan keluarga dengan baik, bukan yang hendak menambah isteri. Tanggungjawab utama suami ialah menjaga keluarga terutama anak-anak,” katanya.
Sementara itu, pengacara dan pelawak, Salih Yaacob, 48, menyambut baik cadangan suami yang berpoligami diberi insentif kerana langkah itu secara tidak langsung membantu suami terbabit menjalankan tanggungjawab kepada keluarga.
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“Perkara baik mesti disokong, cuma jangan ada pihak mengambil kesempatan. Bagi saya, rezeki datang daripada Allah dan Alhamdulillah, saya mampu menyara keluarga dengan rezeki yang diperoleh,” katanya yang dihubungi, semalam.
Beliau yang memiliki empat isteri berkata, walaupun ada pihak yang berpandangan negatif terhadap suami yang berpoligami, hakikatnya ia selaras dengan sunnah Rasulullah.
“Saya tidak menjangka akan berkahwin lagi, ini bahagian saya dan mungkin satu ujian, tetapi saya bersyukur di atas rezeki yang dikurniakan Allah,” katanya.
bila nak pru...
Sunday, June 12, 2011
lumrah lelaki... sebab tuh poligami diharuskan.
It's variety they seek
MAX (not his real name) has been having an affair right from the first day of his marriage.
He says he loves his wife but continues the affair because of his need for variety.
"We can't eat the same food every day, we do get bored but I do still love my wife."
So, if the wife behaves like a 'first-class prostitute', would he still stray?
"Yes. It's not about how good she is in bed but about having variety. Men would still stray no matter how good the wife is in bed."
Max says sex is important but not the main thing that keeps a marriage going.
"There should be understanding and a give and take.
"That is the foundation of a strong marriage."
Peter (not his real name) has been having an affair for the last four years. He has been married for 10 years.
He has a beautiful wife who is a professional but he still looked elsewhere.
"The more feathers in the cap we have, the better. I love my wife dearly and I provide her with everything she wants.
"I take her on holidays every year and I would never leave her but at the same time, I also need variety.
"It is not about how my wife performs in bed, it's just about having more options."
Read more: It's variety they seek http://www.nst.com.my/nst/articles/12srocw2-2/Article#ixzz1P375co8M
Good sex does not equal happy marriage
By Sonia Ramachandran and Chandra Devi Renganayar
nsunt@nst.com.my
1 of 4
Thus, serving a husband like a first-class prostitute, as espoused by the Obedient Wives' Club, would not guarantee that he would not stray or leave.
University Malaya Department of Psychology and Counselling Associate Professor Dr Mariani Md Nor said good sex would not prevent a man from looking elsewhere.
"Men have different needs. Even if they have five or six wives, they will still look at another woman if she tries to seduce him.
"Satisfying all their sexual needs will not prevent them from looking at other women."
What couples need to do to foster a good, harmonious marriage, therefore, was to communicate effectively and be honest with each other, she said.
"Both partners have to be honest with each other, even in sexual matters. If one partner does not like something about the other, they should voice it out.
"For instance, if the wife feels the husband ejaculates too fast, then she should tell him.
"Or if the husband comes home from work and is offended when the wife greets him in dirty clothes that smells of cooking, he should tell her. Openness and honesty are very important in a relationship."
Mariani was commenting on Obedient Wives' Club (OWC) vice-president Dr Rohaya Mohamed's statement last week that a wife must obey and serve her husband like a 'first-class prostitute' to keep him from straying and to counter social ills.
OWC was founded by Global Ikhwan Sdn Bhd, an offshoot of the now defunct Islamic religious movement Al-Arqam. The statement provoked a storm of controversy both in the country and abroad.
Mariani said what usually causes a marriage to break down are financial issues, in-law problems or a lack of trust that brings about a communication breakdown which then causes a lack of intimacy between couples.
"So, sex is the last factor in the equation."
University Malaya senior lecturer and research supervisor Dr Diana-Lea Baranovich said no matter "how great the wife is in bed", it would not stop the husband from straying if "cheating is where the man's mind is".
"What about setting up an 'obedient husbands club', where husbands learn how to be respectful of their wives and where they learn how to work as a team with all the demands of work obligations and child rearing?
"Now women don't have the luxury of staying at home and shining the husband's shoes while looking beautiful all the time for the husband. Marriage is now about honesty and shared responsibilities," she said.
University Malaya Department of Education Psychology and Counselling senior research fellow Professor Dr Suradi Salim said men do not seek prostitutes because they are not satisfied with their wives' sexual performance but because they want variety or because a prostitute is convenient for that moment.
Suradi, who is also a member of the Women, Family and Community Development Ministry's Board of Counsellors, said most men cheat because they are not satisfied with what they have.
"They could be dissatisfied because of their wives' nagging, because they find her unattractive or even because she is a bad cook.
"Marriages break down because of this lack of satisfaction. When you're in love, your partner always seems perfect but after marriage, the flaws start becoming apparent and incompatibility sets in," he said.
Consultant psychologist Valerie Jaques said many men, who are having sex in their marriage but still have sex with other women, and even men, do so because of some form of addiction to feed the need of poor self-esteem and low confidence.
Jaques said many women were made to believe that they do not have rights in their marriage and only the husband's rights should be met.
"If women in polygamous marriages see their roles as 'whores in bed' as the definition of a wife or life partner then this is a very sad situation."
Dr Shanthi Thambiah, associate professor of the gender studies department at the Faculty of Arts and Social Sciences at University Malaya, said a marriage should be egalitarian and if it is not, it may become oppressive and abusive.
"Sex can be oppressive if it is regarded as a demand for constant sexual fulfillment for only the husband with no regard for the wife's well-being and her needs."
What do you think? Send your views to nsunt@nst.com.my
Read more: Good sex does not equal happy marriage http://www.nst.com.my/nst/articles/12srocw-2/Article#ixzz1P3886BV6
Thursday, June 9, 2011
mpitm sokong kts...
Kompleks Penghulu Mukim Cheras,
Batu 10, Jalan Cheras,
43200 Kajang, Selangor
Tel: 03-90760426
Fax: 03-90746216
http://mynewshub.my/bm/2011/06/09/tak-salah-bertindak-jalang-nakal-dengan-suami-presiden-majlis-ibu-tunggal/
